Zen and Kool-Aid Man

Yeah, I don't know what I'm thinking, so I figure I'd best sort my thoughts out here and now. Here goes nothing.

Koans. That's the "zen" part of my title. I was just thinking about those things, like "What is the sound of one hand clapping?" and "If a tree falls in a forest and no one is there to hear it, does it still make a sound?" I have the answers. Respectively, they are:

1. a quiet sound, like the wet wrinkly foot of an old person hitting the linoleum of the kitchen floor on a chilly end-of-August morning as they get up to make some cinnamon hot chocolate.

2. yes. but you don't deserve to hear it, so that's why you don't.

And you must accept those answers. I thought of them very recently and they are completely correct. Ne question pas le zen cerveau de moi!!! Now, I am going to leave the zen portion for today.

Kool-Aid Man--kreepy name, kreepy spelling. He's creepy. (kreepy??) He's not cool (kool??), and what's up with him bursting through walls and no one gets upset? And he can do flips and skate-board with no helmet and none of his icy (iky??) kool-aid spills. I always knew the laws of physics don't apply to tall people... even if they are just large animated freaks in bad commercials attempting to market disgusting sugar-filled juice (juike??) products (produkts??). (Yeah, I am going to stop replacing all "c"s with "k"s now. Thank you for enduring that.)

Not to mention, Kool-Aid Man gives out kool-aid. Doesn't he feel like he's losing brethren as each child sips away filthy red liquid from opaque plastic cups? Maybe he's a cannibal, because that would make sense. OOOORRRRRRR, more likely, Kool-Aid Man has an evil plot that requires him to give out samples of his nauseating, repelling goods, and somehow we will all soon be enslaved by talking pitchers and domesticated parrots (who, as the History Channel so interestingly informed me, will be taking over in large flocks once we humans are gone).

So that settles the matter! Don't buy Kool-Aid ever again, or else you alone will be responsible for the destruction of life as we know it! No, I am NOT overreacting!

Also, if you'd like to use the spare time you now have because you are no longer buying kool-aid, you can tell me your favorite koan in a comment and I will answer it for you. :)

PS: I've ALREADY HEARD the one about "If a man talks in a forest, and no woman is around to hear him, is he still wrong?" The answer is long and complicated. I refuse to explain it to people who probably don't want to know anyway.

Tid-Bits

I will now proceed to tell a few random things about myself.

1. I don't know if I've told you before, but some of my dreams have a habit of coming true. Maybe you remember the Stone-Lab-Slideshow-Dream Incident?? I dreamt that the teacher took a picture of people playing frisbee among some large trees, and that the one person (name not to be mentioned) was running into a tree, and there I was in the background, blurry, but recognizable by my bright pink jacket, and the picture was in a slideshow at the end of the year--and I told all of the people present about this dream, so they can vouch for me if anyone thinks I'm crazy. And it came true.

2. I enjoy creating acronyms. Some may recall "T.O.A.S.T. (Teens Offering A Supply of Toasters) for France", which was my charity idea so that French people could have toast. Because my French teacher told me that it is exceedingly rare for French people to eat sliced bread. So maybe if they all had toasters, they'd buy sliced bread. At the time I came up with this acronym, I had been having an obsessive craving for toast which has mostly passed at the present time.

3. I want a winter home in Alaska--and please, don't tell me that the 19 straight hours of darkness will depress me, or I'll die due to lack of Vitamin D, because I will make sure to eat lots of broccoli and I love the stars, so 19 hours is plenty of time for star-gazing. I'll love it, truly. Plus, does anyone else just feel more alive, and vividly awake at night? In the dead of the darkness with no one else around and everything is still and all you can think is that the world could have ended and it would feel no different from this? There is something strange and interesting about nighttime that I love very much.

4. I have a Christmas list forming in my mind at this very moment. No that is NOT wrong, it's not like it's January! It's JULY people! Think of CHRISTMAS IN JULY!!! Anyway, here's my immediate list:

- a real evergreen tree, not the fake one from our basement, to hang ornaments on

- spearmint candy canes, because they taste better than peppermint

- mandolin, because I've been wanting one for almost 2 years now

- a job, so that I can make money without knitting (which gets vvvvveeeerrrryyyy old, very fast)

- gift cards for iTunes and Barnes&Noble, because I love both music and books. Lots and lots of books. And music.

Alright, I guess that's all I'm willing to divulge at the present. Maybe I'll do this again sometime. Tell me your thoughts on my thoughts!! :)

PS: That was me, subtly hint-hint-hinting to LEAVE A COMMENT!! YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!!! (And you know I know who you are. And I know you know I know who you are. And you know I know you know I know who you are....)

Independence Day (not the movie!)

OK, I know you all must think I'm seriously depressed or messed up or something after my last post, and I haven't written in a while, I have not been very inspired. But today is July Fourth. A year ago, I was in Virginia, REMEMBER? :) At the time, almost an exact year ago (it will be exactly ONE YEAR in approximately eight hours or something, I'll have to check...), I was typing on the computer in my cousin's room and listening to my uncle tell my little cousins all about the Declaration of Independence, etc. etc. It was nice. I miss them, wish I could have gone again this summer, 'cuz there's a NEW little cousin now, her name is Julia Elizabeth. Not to be said together or anything, but the names Julia and Elizabeth sound so nice together I think I'll call her that until she's old enough to ask me to stop.

What I miss most about VA, besides my family, is probably shopping with my cousins' cousin who was about my age. And seeing that GUY. (Yes, yes, THAT one, if you know who I'm talking about, good for you! If not, you probably weren't meant to know....) Oooh, I'd travel twelve hours with my brother and sister and parents all talking in the car if he'd still be there. I seriously would. And for those of you who have met my sister at her worst, you know that means a whole lot more than you could interpret if you HAVEN'T met my sister at her worst. So yeah, it basically means I'd accept death than never see HIM again.... :) Strong words coming from me, you all know. Too bad though, I have to stay stuck where I am. Play tennis. Plan evil obnoxious outings. Make fun of lame movies. Wonder why Global Warming has caused all the bugs to virtually disappear for this summer--seriously, what's the deal??

Anyway, my rambling on has gone on forever now, and I'm much much better than my previous post, thanks to everyone, you guys are my friends for a reason. :) (Yes I still miss him; no not HIM-HIM, see my last post if you're confused about who I'm talking about.)

Lamenting the Loss of a Rabbit

Rabbit foot--

with no rabbit--

Not so lucky.

My rabbit,

Steel, Steve, Bunny,

This rabbit was.

WAS.

Maybe is.

Maybe not.

Still mine.

Wherever he goes.

Be happy,

Lucky little rabbit.

This post is dedicated to my Rabbit,

My Steel, My Steve, My Bunny,

Who left this Universe

at 3:10 this past afternoon,

Thursday June 11

2009 AD.

R.I.P.

I'm a Pisces

I'm a Pisces. I've been reading about my Zodiac-star-sun-sign thing or whatever, Pisces, and I just like how it's a 99.99999999999% perfect match for me! I wonder if it's just a coincidence. But it's an awful lot of coincidences... like the stone "Moonstone" somehow connects to Pisces (love moon stones!), and "sea green" is one of my favorite colors and also connecting (maybe you've heard my rants, maybe not...), and I am slightly artistically inclined in the way of music and art and literature, and I do find my personality to be rather that of an "old soul" like the sign describes--not at all that I'm a decrepit elderly person, but in the way that I was born in the wrong time. (I will thank Chels and others to keep their opinions to themselves on the statement that I should have been born in the Victorian era!!!)

Apparently Pisces enjoy gift-giving (without preference to receiving anything back, just like me), daydreaming (who remembers when I was so zoned out I stopped breathing--yes, I am expecting raised hands on this one!), and need to be grounded by their friends personalities based on their friends Zodiac-star-sun-sign things. I guess this means I have to go find some Gemini, Leo, and Taurus friends you guys! See you! Nah, I'm totally happy to be all me and I love my friends!!! Miss you all!

But seriously, please check out these sites and tell me it isn't... ME.

http://www.astrology-online.com/pisces.htm

http://www.pisces.com/index.html

http://www.astrology.com/allaboutyou/sunsigns/pisces.html

Really, what's the likeliness?!? I can't believe it, but it HAS to be more than coincidence, after all my parents never told me anything about "New Age" culture and whatnot. But I don't really believe in it anyway. I just love fish--especially in the form of Sushi! :) Ooo, wait... is that to be considered cannibalism?

Side note: we are in the age of the Pisces Zodiac sign until the year 2051! Woohoo! Here's to another 32 years of fish! :)

Pluto is SO a Planet!

Just figured I'd tell everyone: Pluto is, has always been, and always will be a planet! Pluto is my favorite planet, followed by Neptune, and I don't care what those stupid and crazy scientists decided! About 25 trillion (or 25,000 million, however you prefer to read it) years from now, when the first three planets closest to the sun are swallowed by the sun, people will be GRATEFUL Pluto is a planet! GRATEFUL! (*Note: please see end of my previous post for other comments about "grateful". Seriously, go look!) Although, no one will probably be around because either we'll be:

a) an extinct species

b) dead of heat stroke, every one of us, or

c) uncaring of exactly which planet is which anymore.

Whatever the reasoning, I just hope that SOMEDAY people will realize that PLUTO IS THE BEST PLANET EVER.

Sorry if I've ranted about this before, but I had to again. If I didn't rant about this before on this blog, the subject has probably come up in casual conversation at least. If you're sick of it, say "aye"! No, not really. I'll steal your keyboard before you can type it.

Sweet?

Alright, end of school coming up.... In like two days. This is so without warning! How on Earth can the administration expect me to say good-bye to all my lovely friends when all anyone's worried about is EXAMS EXAMS EXAMS??? There's no way. So I'll say so here:

Good-bye everyone! I had a wonderful year with you, I love you all, miss you so much already, I'll send postcards, Bon Voyage, etc. etc.!!!

The Seniors have the perfect way to say good-bye to everyone though. They just pass out zillions of their senior photos--Prom pics, concert pics, year book/club photos, professional casuals, head shots, full-body shots, cool and quirky and making-me-nostalgic, 'cuz whatever Senior gives me a photo, I know I can never know them and all their perfect memories or their sad ones, so I just read the note and say "Thanks, good luck, congrats, etc. etc.". But you know what? No matter WHO it is, whether they know me all that well or not, their notes start out the same:

"Cat: You are so sweet! You're really nice, such a good person, even if you're really really quiet! Good luck with the rest of High School, Have fun, I'll miss you!

Your friend,

(enter name of Senior here)"

 Sweet? Me? Really? The quiet thing I get, but am I really SWEET? Like a cough drop, I'd guess. Kind of bitter with an off-flavor. Not that I'm ungrateful. I really think those people are so wonderful to take their time and pretty-colored pens just to write me a little farewell. I will not complain further.

One last thought before I go: "wonderFUL" means FULL of wonder; "grateFUL" means FULL of grate (i.e., appreciation); however "awFUL" does NOT mean FULL of aw/awe--it means pretty much the opposite. Explain THAT to me satisfactorily, if you can. Just try, this one honestly has me flummoxed. And flummoxFUL. Yep, that would mean FULL of flummox.

Yup, I'm....

Take no notice of the title. I just wanted to say that. Write it. Whatever. Anyway, I have been looking at my posts and decided that recently they have been particularly bland and effortless. Of course, I tried at the time, but in retro-spect (I know that word's not hyphen-ated but -I- li-ke hy-ph-en-szszszszs.) they are much like the Saltine crackers of my blog. Nice in their own right, for a while at least, but many more of them and my raving, rabid, rabies (whoops, not that one, sorry!) readers would really retaliate reprehensibly. Is that enough "r"-starting-with words for you? It was for me, I never want to use an "r" again--they now make me feel rather (dang it, there's two... shoot, one more... NNNOOOOOO!!! they're entirely unavoidabler than I thought!!!) nauseous. It'll pass though.

Anyway, I was just thinking today about how silly it is that the closer you get to the end of the school year (June fourth for me, YAY.) the more teachers seem to insist upon giving you one final project, test, homework assignment, chapter to read, whatever. And I just want to know (perfectly truly and honestly): WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM??? Why am I not allowed to relax in my final days before the half toil/half freeness of summer comes about and I am once again left at home six days a week with only a rabbit for company? WHY?

But that's not why I was writing. I was simply going to tell anyone who cares that I am not going to bother tanning this summer, because it just winds up groty and peeling by three days later, no matter how well it looked first off. And, in other news: the first ice cream truck of the year came around today. I never knew they still existed before I moved here six years ago. I was always so happy, even though I only ever bought one popsicle from one of them once, because the music sounded like wind-chimes and magic and happiness. Today, it sounded like a broken, worn-out music box. Why do things change on me like that?

That was going to be all--that tiny bit I just wrote directly above, skipping the first two parts. But if I'd stopped after that, this would have just been another plain old Saltine then, wouldn't it? Welcome back, old posting style! I missed you! (Yeah, those last two exclamations there.... They were me talking to my style of writing. And I am glad I said it, for it shall never feel under-appreciated again.)

Telemarketers and/or Global Warming, Part II

Yes, this is part TWO. Go find the first post if you must see Part One. It is quite amusing, in retrospect, for me at least.

Anyway, I don't remember what on earth I was going to say about Global Warming. Perhaps at the time I had irrefutable evidence that telemarketers were the cause of it? Maybe the ozone layer does not exist, thus explaining the large hole in it? Or maybe a cure for it. We'll never know.

However, I wrote down the telemarketing thing. It is a suggestion of what to do, should you ever have the desire to fully infuriate a telemarketer. Please use at your own will, though at the same time, responsibly and with as much discretion as possible. Thank you.

Here's the example:

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Okay, now I can't find that either!!! What the heck is wrong with me?!? I always misplace stuff.... But this is particularly upsetting because 1) it was really quite hysterical and 2) it was written n my journal that contained about eight months worth of information!!!!! Experiences, rants, laughs, cries, annoyances and memories that are forever lost and I'll never be able to recover! It's actually very heartbreaking....

So never mind. If I ever find out where I put that journal though, I will post the thoughts under the title "Telemarketers and/or Global Warming, Part III". 'Til next time I suppose....

April 22--Best Day Ever

I'm not saying why today is the best day ever. It goes without saying.

Happy Earth Day! Plant a tree, turn off your TV, watch the sky and think of me! I'll be naming every constellation out there, so just looking at the sky will brighten our connections to each other! (If you don't understand this, read my previous post.)

Feel free to comment! Be awesome! I love the World! Good Night! :)

This is Significant

It's so so ODD to think about this: ALL OF US. We're all here, same time, same place, living totally different lives, yet we're somehow connected in ways too complex to understand--a billion connections to a single person, and a billion connections away from them.... Life. You are right now IN THE LIVES of so many other people, yet at the same time, not with them at all. And connected in a billion ways you'll never know, because it's so complex. We are all TOGETHER and a million miles away at the same time, and we're never going to know who we change and who changes us, but one day we'll realize (like I have tonight) that we are all LINKED. This is a significant piece of information to me. Sometimes late night mind-wanderings are the times when it hits me hardest that WE EXIST and WE WILL LIVE and WE WILL DIE.

And it scares me. But in a good kind of way, that is more like the feeling you get from looking down a two thousand foot drop off a cliff into a valley in a haze of fog, and you aren't wearing any protective gear at all--like a parachute, or helmet, or elbow/knee-pads, or a bungee cord, or any rope at all. It's just you and the air and nothing but an inch between life and death. That's how close I've gotten to the edge of the universe without doing more than leave the roof outside my window as I look at the stars, which in comparison, make this very very insignificant.

Look at THIS!!! :D

I made a video for my English project about Romeo and Juliet. (No, it was NOT about Susan. I wish though!!!) Actually, we had an assignment to create a visual based on dominoes, and the fact that one event falling leads to another leads to another, just like dominoes. Anyway, my video was very symbolic and amazing (I thought--and I wouldn't be able to tell you I thought it was amazing if I really didn't think it was amazing, so please be nice about it). I'm going to post it, you should watch it, and then tell me that you love the song. That's right--I put it all to "Romeo and Juliet" by the Killers. :)

Telemarketers and/or Global Warming

I have no clue what I am going to say in this post. I will not delete antthing. ~antth~ dang it ~anything~. Not even typos, as you have seen. This is pretty fu ~fun~ actually. I'm just typing whatever comes on ~into~ my head. (**Note: whatever I put in "~~" those squiggle things is my attempt to correct typos. Deal with it. i have to, and I'm all OCD about grammar, punctuation, spelling, etc.) So you're getting a look at whatever I think, no censored things, stuf ~stuff~, memories, deals whatever. Maybe I'll think about something entirely humiliating and you'll get to see it! Lucky you! Or maybe not, depending. Anyway, I better type about the subject title of this post, or else I'll forget, as per usual.

Telemarketers. Actually, you know, that's such a freaking lon ~long~ (but very cool) rant I have writtend ~written~ Wait, just let me start that sentence over. Just the second half after "rant" though; "I have written it down in my journal". There. phew. I bet you didn't even know I HAD a journal, what with already having the blog, facebook, email, IM, and three different writing avv shoot ~accounts~ set up on different websites. I guess I do a lot of writing. Hmm. Maybe I have a disease or something. I ~Or~ just a lot of thoughts.

Shoot. You know, my hands are cramping from the stress of trying to type with as few mastakes ~mistakes~ as possible, because they're getting really annoying, so I'll just r dang ~writer~ shoot !~ FRICK ~WRITE~ about global warming later too. So this post is pointless. But I darn it i hate friggin computers shoot this keyboard kill microsoft dang--anyway. I'LL TYPE NORMALLY TOMORROW. Or you know, as normal as I csan WHY CAN'T I TYPE?@?@?@!?!?! OK, this is me, siging danf i mean DANG ~signing~ off for now.

Bye.

April Fool's Day

I hate this day so so much. People now have a HOLIDAY seemingly dedicated to make ME the target of more jokes. Honestly, aren't you all laughing your heads off at me all the time anyway? Don't you ever get tired of it? Well I am SICK OF IT, hear me?!?!?!?! I am never going to talk to any of you AGAIN. Ha, see if you can laugh at me NOW, especially once I block all of you from this page FOREVER!!!

*   *   *

APRIL FOOL'S!!! Ha ha ha, I'd never do that to you guys! You saw that coming right? I mean, that was the TITLE, my GOSH. If you didn't get that before it happened, go see a doctor. Today. Seriously, like, pick up the phone and make an appointment for yourself RIGHT NOW. (This is not a drill, I repeat, this is NOT a drill!!! I don't know why I wrote that, ha ha ha. Being up early does stuff to my head....)

Aw, guys, really I love all my friends! Happy April Fool's Day, see you in a few years!!! :)

I Have No Appropriate Title to Suit This Post

This is an update post only. Nothing much interesting here. So if you want a quick little overview type thing, just read what's in bold and italics.

~The tree should be named Paul Dano, just 'cuz he's the best.

~I love the bands "Jimmy Eat World" and "Social Distortion". Look them up.

~I bought socks and tic tacs at Walmart. The socks are for a friend and a extremely cute, and I shan't say more (yup, I really did just use the word "shan't" and I couldn't care less what you think, no offense you know.) because that may ruin everything. The tic tacs are cherry flavored and VVVEEERRRYYY yummy. :)

~I got a Facebook after I decided I'd just have to face my fear of becoming addicted to it. And guess what? After 3 weeks, I'm still not addicted to Facebook!!! (But I AM addicted to the Superflair function. Facebook users, BEWARE!!!!! Ha ha ha, I seriously love that application more than almost anything else on Facebook.)

~I didn't get the new Maximum Ride novel from Walmart, even though I so wanted it so much I thought I'd DIE, so I'm getting my brother to drive me tomorrow, which is when I shall finally buy it. YAY!!!

Alrighty then, that's all for tonight. But before I sigh off, here's a quick little shout-out thingy to some awesome people: Happy Birthday to Kia, Kinz, Chels, and anyone else who's bday isn't really today but has occurred already or shall this year! (If you birthday is today on the other hand, that's just tough luck for you!)

Hmm.

OK, I have read all of Romeo and Juliet multiple times, and I have concluded:

a) it is a dirty play with too many sex jokes.

b) Romeo is a stalker. (Really, how did he know which room was Juliet's?)

c) Shakespeare was almost as sarcastic as I am.

d) The whole thing is Susan's fault.

Even so, Susan is my favorite character. A friend and I now have plans to name our English teacher's tree Susan. I think it'll work OK. Who wouldn't want a small houseplant named after one of Shakespeare's greatest (in my opinion) characters? : )

Life Goes On

Some song just popped into my head when I started typing, so the title is now "Life Goes On" thanks to the lyrics to a song I don't recall all the way that went something like "Life goes o-o-on, like this so-ooong... I can't wait for the world to sing, I can't wait to be happening...." on and on and such. Not an amazingly awesome song, but quite fitting whatever mood my brain is in apparently, or else I wouldn't have recalled it, right? I believe my brain's moods differ from my own.

So, as my English class is going to be reading Shakespeare's classic (Romeo and Juliet, duh!) soon, I'm going to give you all this wonderful little link to the best video recording of the Killers doing a cover of the song "Romeo and Juliet". The song manages to shed a funny light on the whole story, despite the mass killings and high suicide rates. (Alright, I am exaggerating a bit, calm down, I can say what I want! Man, I've never said that before. Weird to do so now....) Here's the link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=87cLyBR1JTo

And if you're too lazy, or think the Dire Straits version is better (I'm a die-hard Killers fan, so I must disagree with those of you don't appreciate music like "When You Were Young", "Sam's Town", "Human", etc.) here are quotes from the song that I feel capture the most humorous essence of the song and the play:

"Lovestruck Romeo, sang the streets a serenade, layin' everybody low, with a love song that he made; Found a streetlight, stepped outta the shade, said somethin' like: 'You and me babe, how 'bout it?' Juliet said 'Hey, it's Romeo! You nearly gave me a heart attack.'..." (These are the first couple lines. I believe they accurately portray what basically happened in a way that the modern world can understand, with the way uncultured teens are--it's the truth, most teens don't bother with old English literature. Shameful.)

"When you gonna realize, it was just that the time was wrong?" (This is the last line of the chorus. I feel it sums up the whole suicide stuff nicely--the time was wrong, always. Wrong for them to meet, because Romeo wanted a rebound love from Rosaline--if only subconsciously--and wrong when they got married, because then Tybalt died--nice one Romeo! *rolling*eyes*--and wrong for Romeo to kill himself, because two seconds later Juliet wakes up to find a dead husband. Poor little 13 year old girl has to leave her family, accept the death of her cousin, and be willing to foresake her entire country for the love of a way older guy who commits suicide. I sense something wrong in that.)

Disagree?

Happy Valentine's Day.

You know, this was originally a day to celebrate the St. Valentines of the Roman Catholic Church. They were both martyrs. That's romantic, isn't it? Yet somehow this winds up as the 2nd hugest commercial holiday of the year, and the 2nd biggest card-sending day--after Christmas of course. Anyone else wonder how Hallmark and all the other companies can get away with all this sort of stuff? I do, all the time. I can find no real reason that people feel the need to go buy a ton of material things for other people just so they feel loved.

I'm giving you all something inmaterial today:

Whoever, wherever you are, whatever you're like, I don't care. I want you to know that I appreciate you and that you are absolutely a perfect being, no matter what you may say in your head about your small faults. It could always be worse, and look on the bright side: now you know someone likes you for you. Happy Non-Commercial Day of Unknown True Origin!

Gr. Wednesdays.

Alright, Wednesdays are the days school starts 1/2 an hour later than usual. I can never remember that. So this morning, apparently my parents didn't remember either. Gr.

I woke up at 5:30, went back to sleep. Was woken up at 6 again, went back to sleep at 6:19. (See where I'm headed? I'm not a morning person unless it's not a school morning. Even on Snow Days where I'm unaware that it's a Snow Day yet, my subconscious has its little alarm go off in my brain until I go get some cereal, which I never eat before school. Insane.) Anyway, I woke up at 7 eventually, and didn't realize that I could have actually gone to sleep again until about 7:45 before I had to start getting ready for school. (Amazing how little time I spend on my appearance. I feel as though I'm a shameful poke in the eye to every girl who wakes up hours ahead of time just to get every hair sprayed in place with a super-strong gel, then spends the rest of her time making sure each eyelash gets its own coating of mascara to avoid clumping.)

Anyway, I wound up dragging myself to the door to see my mother walking over, freaking out at me for probably almost certainly making myself late again--though I haven't been late this term yet, and was only late a couple times last term. (Alright, I was late 5 times total, 3 of which were NOT my fault and two of which should have been excused but somehow weren't!) So I skipped almost everything I usually do to get ready, I just brushed my teeth, put in contacts, threw on headbands and a long-sleeved t-shirt ad left. My dad could have gotten a speeding ticket if a cop had stopped him on the way to my school. Thankfully, I have very good car Karma (car-ma?) and there were no cruisers in sight. I wound up walking in the door wondering why everyone was standing around in the commons instead of heading to class, when all of a sudden I thought to myself: It's Wednesday. Frick.

I knew there was a reason the world hates Wednesdays, besides the odd spelling. What's the worst day of the week in your opinion? (Explain why. Please don't steal my explanation or I'll be forced to sue you. Also, "frick" is my word, and mayn't be used without written/typed consent. Thank you.)

Additions to the List

Alright, three additions to the list:

9) Having a lisp (seriously, who's idea was it to put an "S" in "lisp" anyway? How cruel. Example: "I have a lithp." "What?" "I have a lithp." "Wait, you have a what???" "I have a freaking lithp, okay??? A LITHP!!!!!" Honestly, some speech impediment namer has really got to be ashamed of himself.) **Thanks to Chels, for this addition to the list!**

8) Peeing your pants, and trying to act all cool about it despite the fact that everyone knows you did anyway. **Yet another thanks to Chles!**

7) Being an idiot. Everyone knows you are, but you use big words to try to fool them, and it doesn't work. **Thanks to Kinz for this one!**

6) The fact that you are a zombie. (ZDL, your time has come!!! ...NOT!!!!!!!! hahahaha... Only on friend will actually get this inside joke. I shall not explain.)

Yeah, there're a few more open spots. Tell me if you want to add one, but if not, just tell me something strange that's happened to you lately so I can create a new post based on random inspirations not involving lists. Thanks!!! :)

Olives are a Fruit. All Fruits are Vegetables; not ALL veggies are fruits.

That title has nothing to do with anything, I just figured you'd like to know. You may also wish to know that what we call "fire" is merely a clever illusion.... OK, not really. But it doesn't exist. It's simply a product of a chemical reaction between energy and Carbon dioxide. Don't I sound all scientific? :)

Anyway, my true purpose is writing an incomplete list of the "35 Hardest Things to Cover Up" that a friend of mine and I started quite a while ago and never finished, but it's funny anyway. Some are her ideas, some are mine. If you'd like to add to the incomplete numbers on the list, please do tell me in a comment. Greatly appreciated, smiles for all of you! :) *note: anything in parenthesis is an added comment of mine, except in the case of #14, #28, and #27!!!!!

35. Being pregnant.

34. Eating the very last blue-raspberry popsicle. (because it stains your teeth, tongue and mouth area blue--but so worth it!)

33. Being more than just slightly obese.

32. Graphite stains. (From where your pencil won't erase off your page.)

31. Ugly carpets. (Because they're usually covering up stains, graphite or otherwise.)

30. burning eggs. (I've done this uncountable times--never been caught yet.)

29. Lysol/Clorox after-smells.

28. Giant neon signs. (in the dark)

27. Giant neon signs. (in the light)

26. Dating a nerd.

25. Eating meat when you say you're a vegetarian.

24. A spot on your wall where you threw a Sharpie. (been there, done that. Duct Tape does NOT help!)

23. The fact that you DIDN'T make it into college.

22. Being married.

21. NOT being married.

20. that place on your t-shirt where you dribbled cherry slushie. (man, now I want one, dang it!)

19. A flaming birthday cake.

18. Being eaten by a shark/wildebeast/prehistoric ice lemur.

17. If you stole ~~~~~~~~~'s (sorry, had to block my name out there!) list--*cough*some friends of mine*cough*

16. If you have a huge pimple on your nose that WON'T GO AWAY! (Never had that issue, thank goodness!)

15. Finding a dinosaur bone.

14. The fact that you're gay--"Hello, fabulous!" (Not mine, most definitely my friend's idea!)

13. The fact that you're a transvestite. (Also not mine.)

12. An enormous black eye.

11. ****************************************** (this one was a little too odd to list on my blog. Leaving it at that. Don't ask, I won't tell you anything.)

10. covering a redwood tree with a washcloth or towel. (Have you seen those trees? They're HUGE!!!!!)

9. Liking country music.

8. (nothing was here)

7. (or here)

6. (still nothing)

5. (nope)

4. (nada)

3. (more nothing)

2. (and yet more nothing)

1. Killing someone!

There you have it. A brilliant list, no? If you'd like to add something, only the spots 2-9 are available, and I've already got a few offers on them! Leave a comment to leave your mark on this amazing list! :)

All additions will be revealed in a later post. Good Luck!

Wooo! Groundhogs!!!

Happy Groundhog Day! And you know, I think I'll celebrate hedgehogs today as well. All in the hog family, you know? :)

Today is also my parents kind-of anniversary. I can never remember their actual date of marriage, so I just tell them Happy Anniversary today. (Because today is the day that my dad asked my mom to marry him--because he couldn't wait for Valentine's Day to ask. I like this day better anyway, it's much more original.) So, because I'm writing this the day BEFORE Groundhog's Day and just setting it to post itself at the exact moment the celebration begins, I have no clue if little furry Pete or Patches or Gary, or whatever that little Groundhog's name is, saw his shadow. My prediction on the remainder of winter though, is that more winter weather is on the way, though probably not 6 weeks of it. Your prediction? Your new name for what's-his-face in Punxsutawney, PA? Your rant-lettes about the movie "Groundhog Day" and all the other movies that have ripped off the basic plot? TELL ME IN A COMMENT! (Wow, this makes the top 5 list of the shortest posts I've ever written.)

I Have Amnesia

I was reminded of amnesia by a book last night, and decided to blog as though I was suffering a bout of amnesia myself. Following the three little stars I shall out will be the blog post of a person with amnesia who can't remember over 2.5 mins ago. Good Luck reading it!

*   *   *

I have amnesia, which I've been told has given me a slight case of ADD. I wonder why.... You know "why" has no vowels in it, unless you count "y" as a vowel, which it is only sometimes. I wonder what the reasoning behind that is. If I was the letter "y" I'd complain that I should be paid overtime to do the work that "i" and "e" were too lazy to do--isn't it a full enough job being a consonant already? I mean really....

I have amnesia, which has been giving me some complicated ADD issues. Peanut Butter Cups sound good right now. But not the name-brand kind, I want some slightly off kind. Well, maybe that isn't a good idea, I heard that peanut butter can give you salmonella. Although I thought that just came from under-cooked meat and raw eggs. Maybe it's from ll forms of protein. Or maybe someone will jump out in a few seconds and shout "April Fools!!!"....

I have amnesia. What a funny feeling, I'll tell you. Whoops, looks like I already did. (I just read what I wrote before. The word "whoops" reminds me of one one my favorite movies ever. I wish I could just remember what it's called. It has Hugh Grant in it. Him and his amazing accent, oh gosh, it's really an AMAZING accent....)

I have amnesia. Frick, I already told you that didn't I? Why can't I stop ranting?!?!?! Must have something to do with this ADD I mentioned before, but I've momentarily forgotten what that is....

I have amnesia, and ADD, what ever that's supposed to be. OOOO, What's that button do? "Publish Post"... Both those words start with the same letter, how odd. I wonder why people.... Hey, have you ever noticed that the letter "y" is only a vowel SOMETIMES? Don't you think it deserves better recognition than that? I bet being a consonant is hard enough  without adding the trouble of vowels in as well....

Random Post!!!

This post really has no point to it. So I shall rant aimlessly until I come to a sudden halt and hit the "Publish Post" button. On with my rant-lettes.

If you're reading this as an anonymous person, you should really get an account--it's sometimes fun to say stuff, like now. But of course I won't force anyone to blog, because that would defeat the purpose, kind of the same way sugar-free candy defeats the purpose of eating candy in the first place. What do people eat when they feel bad besides candy? I don't get hungry often when I'm upset, but most people I know have what they refer to as their "comfort food". These foods are somewhere in the categories of cake mix, pancakes with the most fatty syrup available, pretzels (only the window-shaped ones, though I prefer the round ones you find in Chex Mix--YUM, I love Chex Mix! wish I had some now, but then again I wouldn't eat it over the keyboard because I hate the little crumbs that get stuck between the keys when OTHER people eat over it) with peanut butter, and some other stuff I don't quite recall with minimal thought. You know what's weird? People who say "I could care less." They usually mean "I COULDN'T care less", but for some reason they are too lazy to say the extra syllable. Because if you meant that you couldn't care less but then you say you could care less, it means you DO care to some degree, right? On the other hand, maybe the person meant what they said after all. Oh my gosh, so many people are so STUPID!!! A ton of people at my school drink and use drugs and illegal substances (thankfully no one I'm super close to though. I don't think.) and they get caught, and then they go do whatever they want anyway! People just go and RUIN their lives for no reason, where did the Earth's sense go?!?!?!

This went on for quite a while now. I shall leave it as is and hit post.

Kinz's Hair and One Bowl Brownies

Yep, I totally stole this title from one of my BFF's blog titles. (www.kinseyf.blogspot.com--check it for a reference. very cool.) However, this is about her hair and brownies, unlike her post which happened to be about my hair and brownies. Entirely different, am I right? No, I didn't think so either.

Anyway, I'll talk about the brownies first. I went to Kroger (it's so cold out I had to have my dad drive me--it was TWELVE BELOW ZERO out. Probably lower by now.). I bought a pack of Low-Fat brownie mix. (My ethics won't let me use product placement, even where it doesn't matter, so I will not tell you the brand. If you guess, I will still not tell you.) I came home to make said brownies, and realized I did not have the Low-Fat kind, but instead the regular kind from the same brand, which turns out they have less calories, less fat, more mix, and bigger serving sizes anyway. Go figure. They are baking at the moment and I am praying I have not missed the timer and that they are not burning.

Now on to more important matters: Kinsey's hair. Somehow in the lunch line today, we were discussing moving to Texas. I have no clue why. (Because it's warm? Because it's far away? Help me here Kinz!!!) Anyway, I said no we can't move to Texas, that's right by the Golf of Mexico where people smuggle in drugs, and they'll plant our purses and socks with ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES!!!!! And this led to a few other aspects of that discussion that I now only remember a few vague parts of and I won't rack my mind for every little detail anyway--because I could, I just don't want to. And now I have fully realized that my friend Kinsey's awesome curly hair is so distractingly perfect and bouncy and fun to mess with that that is the reason she never gets into trouble--her hair catches the attention of whoever caught her doing something evil and they couldn't focus well enough to stop her until she got away. OF COURSE!!! Either that, or she is truly the saint-like image of perfection that everyone--including myself--believes she is. Darn it, all my friends have to be better than me, don't they?!?!?! Haha, kidding. (About me being upset that is--of course you are all a billion-kajillion and 8.75 times more wonderful than myself, it goes without saying.) Oh, frick it, I forgot the brownies!!!

My Theory

Alright, as promised here is my theory of what trees do in their spare time. It is nowhere near as wonderful as the ones my friends came up with, so if you're disappointed I understand. But hey, mine comes with a CARTOON!!! :)

I firmly believe that in addition to what my two friends have posted as their own theories, trees use their spare time knitting random clothing items for people lost in the wild.

Gah, FRICK!!!! It didn't work!!!! Now you all can totally laugh at me, I don't care. :(

What do Trees do in their spare time?

If you bothered to read the title of this post, you know what I'm wondering (and don't ask why I'm wondering--I have no clue, except it may have something to do with orange juice and Google and oatmeal bars that taste like strawberries and I really don't know) and if you DIDN'T read the title, you should probably do that right now because that's what friends are for. Also, you perhaps may have an answer, which I'd appreciate very much. Or you mayn't (that is MY WORD, you may NOT-NOT-NOT use it!!! IT IS COPYRIGHTED!!!!!!!! yes that is selfish. I am trying not to care.) have a clue at all. I only have a vague idea, but that will not be revealed at this time. I may include a cartoon to explain my idea thoroughly. I mayn't though, so I also encourage you to say your own idea, which will likely create a better picture in your mind than my explanation.

Why did I decide to write this? I don't know. What is it that trees do in their spare time? I don't know. Why am I posting these question up, only to answer them myself? I HAVE NO CLUE!!!!!! Now, please, nice sane readers, answer the tree question and I'll pretend to be sane again.

Whoa... It's 2009...

Happy New Year readers of this blog!!! (I wrote this before hand so you can read it when it makes sense.) Now, one thing I hope you all realized and took into careful consideration about 2009 is that This was the LAST year anyone can buy those kinda dorky glasses you wear on New Year's with the 2 zeros for eyes. (Since 2000, people've been taking for granted that the year has 2 zeros right next to each other, allowing comfortable, slightly unfashionable eyewear.) As next year is 2010, you won't be able to wear them anymore!!! I can't choose if that's good or bad....

Who knows, maybe we'll all miss the glasses and wish we had a pair in 2010. In fact, I am missing them a little right now....

All I'm saying is, give the glasses a chance people!!! Happy 2009 to you all!

A Miracle... Or Maybe Not

I have had my own personal Christmas miracle. OK, not JUST for me, but for my family, which is close enough, right? Anyway, my family's money's been not-so-good, and we thought we'd have a small quiet, simple Christmas as we were told to expect. (I mean, with the horrid economy, who's money isn't a bit thin-spread, you know?) And we woke up Christmas morning, lined up to go downstairs, and all of a sudden we see this GIANT BOX, and we had no clue what was inside. So we move it (The bottom was cut off so it could be lifted directly off the gift and all of a sudden we figure out-- OH MY GOSH WE HAVE A Wii!!!!!!!!!!!! Truly a surprise. We even got Guitar Hero 3, Wii Sports, and Dance Dance Revolution. (Maybe that last one was kind of not our type of thing, but it's the thought that counts, and it really was a miracle.)

I love Christmas. I love all holidays. : )

And, because I have absolute faith that you all had one, what was your Christmas miracle? I know I'm not the ONLY lucky one!

Oh, wait the "Or not" part of my miracle. My i-pod is so freaking messed up, and it can't be fixed! What the heck am I supposed to do??? I don't have any money to buy a new one!! (Don't even dare suggest I sell the miracle Wii either.) If there's someone out there who is a genius with technology, I will mail you my ipod so you can fix it and give you my $15 i-Tunes gift card too!!! But that may be one miracle too many to wish for, so I guess not. I'll just save up for a new one or something. Unless someone can tell me how to fix it....

But I'd much rather know about what exactly happened to anyone else, because the solitude of my house right now is driving me up the wall. If anyone's out there at all, say SOMETHING, please!!!!!

A List!!! YAY!!!!!

Alright, I have just come up with a brilliant idea for a post. Everyone thinks I am all hippie-like all the time, and I love everything, and most the time I do. But you know what, I don't love EVERYTHING, but I don't hate anything. I just have a list of extreme dislikes. Which I shall now list for you in the order that I like them least. (The first is very un-like-able, the last is almost half-tolerable.) I warn you now: I do not know how long this list shall be, as I have never fully written out a list of my extreme dislikes. SO if it looks unbearably long, I am not going to say you have to read it. (I'm just saying I'd appreciate it is all.... And comment! Hinthinthint!!! Comments make wonderful Christmas/other various holiday gifts!!! Hinthint!!)

OK, here it goes.

1) When people are wrong and don't admit it, or when they lie to cover up their mistakes. (Cheating and lying fall into this category as well!)

2) Cockroaches. Yuck! They hiss and jump and make weird sounds and make my skin crawl! Not to mention they will survive WWIII (which will certainly be a nuclear war, and they can live through nuclear bombings) and I won't! They've been around since before the dinosaurs, yet they've never had to evolve in the slightest since they perfected their beings! Plua they give me the creeps. Really, they're so GROSS!!!!!

3) Getting no catalogues from any companies you've bought products from all year, so you can't buy birthday gifts or anything, then you get nine in a week from the same people in December around the holidays, after you've already bought other gifts but you feel like you should order SOMETHING out of their many insane, efficacious (useless), over-priced products because they went through the trouble of keeping you on their mailing list and sending you all those order forms, but you really don't WANT anything from them, and neither does anyone you know!!! Gr, they are FRUSTRATING!

4) Irony. Irony SUCKS, and it totally ruins everything. Irony is the bane of the existence of EVERYTHING. It needs to go away and never come back.

5) Black licorice jelly beans. However much I hate them though, I will never wish them away, because I have a great-great aunt three times removed or something who just LOVES them. So perhaps one day she will come home to find I have mailed her an entire truckload of black licorice jelly beans--saved from all the ones I have never eaten. I shall express ship them to her, then order that they ALL be stuffed in her mailbox. (I wonder where she lives... hmm, issue with my plan there!)

6) Wars, and people who are obsessed with war. And those people (in both movies, TV shows, and real life, who circle around arguments chanting"Fight, fight, fight...!" Sick freaks.

7) Vacuum cleaners. They are loud, and I also dislike loud noises, but not quite enough to be worthy of this list. Also, if you have long hair (as I once did... *nostalgic*sigh*) your hair is probably all over the floor in your room. Vacuum cleaners don't pick up long hairs off the floor, they just kind of let them sit underneath until they decide to quit running, in which case you look under to find out what's stuck in your Hoover or Roomba (notice the double vowels? Is that on purpose???) or whatever and you find out you have to pick all the disgusting hairs out by hand. Ick.

8)How there's a billion names for the same phobias. Seriously, look some up. Crazy.

Alright, enough of that! I'm done now, because all my other dislikes typically fall into one of those categories, or one close enough to it. Do YOU have any more extreme dislikes you feel are worthy of my list? If you tell me, I will possibly decide that I should rearrange my list to accommodate your addition. (There with the double vowels again! I swear, it's all coincidence!!!)

Merry Christmas/Joyeux Noel/Feliz Navidad/Frohe Weihnachten/Happy Hanukkah/Happy Kwanza!!!

I don't care what holiday you celebrate, or if you just don't celebrate one, I love holidays, so have a nice whatever-day/time-period you celebrate (or don't celebrate) in!!! I love and celebrate Christmas, so Merry Christmas! You know, it's always been my ultimate dream to be one of those elves who talk to kids in line for Santa, then pass out candy canes and stuff. Everyone says "Oh, I could so see you doing that!" And I'm glad, because I'd like to be associated with the joy those elves always gave me. Especially if they were nice an didn't be all grouchy when I asked what they wanted for Christmas.

You know, I have heard many many stories of my early days, and i must conclude that I was always very odd. At Halloween, after whoever gave me candy was waving good-bye, I'd say "Thank you, Happy Halloween, I love you!" And they'd smile and say "Awww, I love you too!" Total strangers. They were so nice!!! : )

Another story (this one I actually remeber on my own): My family used to live in a little one story house, and there were my/my sister's shared bedroom on one little side, my brother's at the end of the tiny hallway, a bathroom in between. The living/dining rooms were right outside the small enclosed hallway, then there was a kitchen with a tinier hallway leading to a tiier bathroom and my parents' large bedroom. The den was on the opposite side and around a small corner of the kitchen from the dining room entrance. So my brother and I were always up first and we'd go sneak a look at what Santa left us before we went to watch TV or wake up our parents. (My younger sister always slept later--she was too young to participate quietly). One year my brother and I woke up to find NO presents in the dining room for us, only my PARENTS had gotten Santa's gifts!!! Any normal child would likely be upset at this, especially at the ages of 5 and 7 or 6 and 8, whichever we were at the time. Yet I was merely annoyed I got up for nothing. So my brother and I decided (in a very happy way, not disappointed at all!) that we could go watch TV anyway, because apparently Santa wasn't coming back. We got into the den, ang there, under the 4.5 foot tall Kid's Tree my parents had us decorate, were all our gifts. What did we do? We sat down and tried to find a cartoon instead of all the Christmas music that was going on the TV! Tell me your most amusing holiday/non-holiday related story! Because comments on my blog are the best gift of all!!! : )

MY HAIR IS SO SHORT!!!

I didn't cry when they cut my hair. The lady was very nice, and she put my hair into ponytails, (my hair is thick enough that I could give two ponytails of hair to Locks of Love. I could have done four if I wanted--twenty inches from each side of my head, but I wanted some length left.) and she was very quick. I closed my eyes and snip-snip-snip. All done. Then came the straightening followed by styling. She did a few tiny feathery layers at the very ends of my hair to give it "movement". Then she parted it on one side, and voila. I was done.

I have decided not to include any pictures. They would have gone here if I had felt that any of them were worth putting up, but no picture could tell you what changed me yesterday. Nothing, no words can explain, or attempt to explain, what I feel right now.I'm not even sure how I feel myself exactly. Conflicted, maybe. In turmoil, if that phrase can be applied. Confused; that is a word which will almost always sum up any of my emotions. However, it cannot show the quintessence of this situation. {Yes, I DID just use one of Mr. S.'s favorite words, then his absolute least favorite word in that sentence--whoops, did it again! :) }

It feels so weird. I can't even tell you. At first I was confused, because I thought losing four pounds (yes, FOUR POUNDS) of hair off my head would make me light-headed. Then I found out that it was my whole body that felt light, like I'm not tethered to this Earth anymore. I can't get over it, because I feel like I lost part of me or something. Pathetic right? Hair is dead anyway, so why does it feel like I've lost my breathing soul?

AAAAAAGGGG!!!

I'm getting a haircut in less than an hour. All I can keep thinking is stuff like this:

-I'll never wash my long hair again!!!

-I'll never brush my long hair again!!!

-I'll never fiddle with my long hair during a boring lecture again!!!

-I'l never curl or braid or color-streak my long hair again!!!

-Other people will never touch or complement or mess with my long hair again!!!

I might cry. I'm going to post pictures of the entire traumatic experience. Though who knows--it may be joyful. I'll also post how many pounds of weight I lost by getting my hair cut. Bet it's at least three pounds!!! I just can't imagine.... 15 inches of my hair. GONE *shudder*

Slightly Offensive or Not?

Okay, I don't know how many people out there have an AIM account, but if you do, have you ever noticed that when you click it open, your status will say "Available" right away? I just have to make my own custom status message, because that one is kind of implying something that is none of y'all's business. (No, I don't really say "y'all", that's just something I wanted to say right now.) And what it implies is that I am SINGLE. And maybe I am, maybe not, but the AOL people have NO RIGHT to assume I am and broadcast it to anyone happening to have my AIM name! Even if they are my friends, I really have no wish to proclaim my relationship status, existent or NOT! Maybe I'm over reacting. Yes, yes I most likely am. Too late!

Also, one thing about AOL. They used to send me all these email updates about most searched items of the day and all that. Actually, they only ever sent me one. About the top-searched DIET of the day. So (because I just hate spam, people who send spam and chain letters: you all just suck, okay? I mean if you start them. If you're just a superstitious forwarder, then it's all cool. I forgive you.) I decided to write back. I told them off pretty well, too! I gave them lectures on anorexia, and how could they support it? do they realize that a "diet" is just another step down the road of an eating disorder? are they PROUD of making girls feel so inferior that they construe their thoughts only to losing another pound, another ounce, another piece of the beautiful person they once were? Then, just in case THAT wouldn't convince them to stop bugging me, I asked if they thought I was fat, and how would they know, are they stalkers? do they automatically ASSUME all girls want to lose weight? are they ENCOURAGING me to go look up dangerous diets where I will learn to develop an eating disorder? Is that their GOAL? They never emailed me again. Good riddance!

I'll have to find that email and post it for you all. It was quite amusing. :) Oh, shoot. I just checked, and I must have deleted it or something, 'cuz it's gone. Oh well. You got the gist of most of it.

A Burning Bush...er, "Buche" (de Noel!)

For all you non-frenchies out there, a "buche de noel" is litterally a Yule Log. It's this SUPER yummerific (totally copyrighted that word right now) French pastry cake thing that is absolutely AMAZING!!! It's supposed to be a big fluffy sheet cake filled with icing and rolled into a log shape, covered in icing, and decorated in a Christmas-y/log-looking way, but I make mine a little differently. I use sugar cookies and whipped cream. And you let it sit (in a fridge, DUH!) for a few days until the cookies get all soft and then you add another layer of whipped cream and put cinnamon and nutmeg on the top of it, maybe with Christmas themed sprinkles or red and green colored sugar if you want something more festive. It's so delicious, and mine's soaking up whipped cream right now!!! Oh, and it CAN be made with chocolate, but unfortunately I have a friend who's allergic to chocolate, so mine is always non-chocolate. But you could substitute sugar cookies for chocolate with chocolate chip cookies, or fudge frosting instead of whipped cream, or even just sprinkle cocoa powder mixed with sugar (actually, hot chocolate mix works best--hold the marshmallows!) on top in place of cinnamon and/or nutmeg. If you like that much chocolate anyway.

But, not meaning to seem like I'm bragging (but that's what this is... dang it, I'm so freaking selfish!) I have tested that the non-chocolate version is best. In a way that was quite curious to me. You see, in 7th Grade French class, we had a few volunteers make Buche de Noels so we could experience them on our own. I was one of them. My friend who was allergic to chocolate was in that class, so I was the only person willing to make a non-chocolate Buche. Anyway, long story short is that when all was said and done, people told me mine was best. I didn't believe them, but there you go. My offering that a non-traditional version of food can be okay too! After all, where would we be if no one had made waffles, or orange-cranberry muffins, or pineapple salsa? Nowhere, my friends. Nowhere.

Oh, Dear Goodness

No, I did not say "Dear Goodness" because it's the name of my pen pal-- I said that because I think I'm going BLIND!!!!! OK, no I'm not really going blind... but it got your attention, didn't it?

I got out of school early today (early release for teacher training or something) and you know what? I have no clue what. This post is more useless than my typical every-day post. Not that I type every day, but I used "every-day" to mean "ordinary". Isn't it funny how people say things like that? Not in the "haha, tears-in-the-eyes, laugh my guts out" way, but more like the "that's kinda weird and/or interesting" funny way.

So my parents got a new computer. Yay them. Actually, it's more like "Yay me" because there's a Photo Booth on it, so I can take photos of myself with the computer. Except, the flash makes my skin look all pale and washed out (more so than normal) and you can't tell I ever once had a tan. I hate that--I spend hours and days and WEEKS risking skin cancer to tan, and what do I get? A little bit of a fake-y-looking orange glow for maybe two weeks before it all goes away.I give up. No more tanning for me EVER. The lighter shade of my hair stays longer though, thank goodness. Plus, in the photos (because of the bright flash) my typically hazel-blue-green-grey eyes are an unrealistic Windex color blue. Not joking. You know, I wish I had brown eyes. Brown eyes are so pretty, and I'm seriously jealous of people with brown eyes....

Anyway, I'm thinking about posting an actual photo of myself. Maybe. Though if I do, I'm afraid people will either say I'm ugly, or be total creepers and stalk me. But what's life without risk, you know? It would just be... a bunch of events in succession that a person happens to go through on a daily basis with only minor altercations.

Is your life boring? Tell me about it... Really, I'd like to know that I'm not the only one.

Accents, Among Other Things

I have just put in that lovely new poll on the right there.... Well, you should totally vote on it. I don't care if you already have, vote again! But I have something to ask: Why is it British accents are SO COOL? If you're British, you should make a recording of yourself and put it on YouTube, because I'd totally listen to you for hours on end, I love your accent that much (seriously, I really do!). I don't have an accent--Well, I have an "American accent", which to me is none at all. Sometimes I talk with a Southern accent. Not like a deep-South one from Georgia, just a light one from the whole NC-VA-SC area.

Also: it is totally unfair that French people can't have lisps just because their entire language doesn't include the "th" sound. But I won't hold that against you if you are French. I love the French language, it's the only one I know enough to awkwardly converse in besides English....

If you have an accent or can fake one or can fluently/partially almost fluently speak another language, tell me in a comment!!! : )

Hope I Don't Get in Trouble...

Okay I'm going to just say this: this post will discuss abortion. If you know what that is and you want to leave, you probably already have. If you don't know what that is, I suggest you either:

a) click back to where you came from. (for readers under 13)

or b) decide whether you really WANT to know and base your choice on that. (everyone else)

Abortion is typically a very taboo subject, but I feel the need to know exactly how other people feel about killing babies. YES abortion is REMOVING and thus MURDERING a living, breathing, feeling human baby inside you (well... inside a pregnant woman). As I love all people, I am against abortion even in the cases of rape/incest, because taking a human life is wrong under any circumstances, as it is not the fetus's fault that a woman is pregnant with him or her. What brings this up is the election of the new President of the USA, who will be chosen on Nov. 4 this year. I don't know if you know who Obama and McCain are, but in short: Obama will legalize abortion. McCain is against it and will try to save children who's mothers wish to remove them from life before taking their first breath. I tried to make this as little opinionated as possible, but I may have failed. Tell me what you think anyway, 'cuz I'd like to know how much of the world is in a similar mindset as me!

Epiphany of a Hippie

Yep, my idea to be dead Snow White was cool, except for that the only costume of her I could find didn't come with a wig and was freaking $85!!!!! Alright, I exaggerated a little bit. It was only $84.99. But you get the picture. And it didn't even come with a wig!!! So I bought a MUCH cheaper hippie costume instead, and it was SOOO much more fun than being a princess! (I went to a Halloween party.) Moving on....

Okay, if you actually bothered to read the title, you'll be wondering what my epiphany was. If you aren't wondering, than you didn't read my title and so GO READ IT RIGHT NOW!!! Anyway, my epiphany was truly amazing, and cleared up what I thought was to be a lifetime of confusion. The word "extraordinary" (mean very special, wonderful, amazing, beyond expectations, etc.) has been a serious source of befuddlement for me for quite some time now, due to its word parts being "extra" and "ordinary", as in "especially" "normal", which is the opposite of its meaning, right? So then I started thinking about latin prefixes/suffixes/roots etc., and it hit me in a way that made me literally gasp in front of my science class (but in a quiet way so no one heard) that "ex" means NOT, or OUT OF and "tra" would be THE and "ordinary" is "normal", so it literally means OUT OF THE NORM!!!!! : )

 There's my brilliant literary analysis of the week, as of Thursday, October 23rd in the year 2008 ad. Which I bet very few of you know stands for anno domini, NOT "after death" what on Earth anno domini means, I have no clue. You tell me please!

This Almost Makes Me MAD!!!

Okay, so originally I wanted to be a hippie for Halloween, right? Then I decided to be something scary-ish for once, and I decided to be a vampire. But that was so boring, and I enjoy being original, so I decided to be Snow White. But the prince never came and got stalker-ish-ly obsessed with her to the point that he wished to transport her dead body down a mountain after buying her off those poor dwarves, so I'm a dead Snow White. (Very few people know that the Brother's Grimm original--man I use that word a ton-- Snow White story didn't involve Snow White being kissed after eating the apple. It just kind of fell out of her mouth as they were carrying her down the mountain. And the ultra-ancient version has Snow White and her sister Rose Red featured in several OTHER adventurous happenings first, so Snow White was obviously a phony princess, thus nearly justifying the wicked stepmother's actions.)

Anyway, I thought I was very clever for thinking of that until I Googled it and it turns out a SIX YEAR OLD was dead Snow White LAST year. Grrr. Hence, my almost-anger. So maybe if i can't find a Snow White dress and wig, I'll get a gown and be Rapunzel. My hair's certainly long enough! (Close anyway--nearly to my waist.)

Bet You Don't Know THIS!!!

Calling all moderately smart people--if you found this site without help from a 10-chapter instruction manual, then CONGRATULATIONS, today you fit under the category of "moderately smart"! : I want to know if you can solve this riddle. I'll post the answer once I get at least three responses. Go ahead, TRY!!! : D

A man, angry at the world, turns out the light and goes to bed. The next morning, he wakes up, reads the newspaper, and commits suicide. Why?

OK, I know you're gonna have plenty of questions, so ask yes-or-no questions if you want. Googling the answer DOESN'T COUNT! 

Oh My Gosh, it WORKED!!! : )

Wow, I just added a hit counter, and it so WORKED!!! COOL!!! So now I can look and see exactly how many people view my page without commenting. Then I can tell you all what total LOSERS you are for not commenting! Just kidding, I would never do that. On a slightly related topic of stuff that isn't really related at all, you guys should watch this video! (And comment, hint hint hint)! Here, it's so funny: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pG5dzybHgTo

Is it not THE most hilarious thing EVER? I just KNEW it was true! Who else did? (note: if you have no clue what I'm talking about, you didn't watch the video and thus are submitted to being labeled a miss-out loser for the rest of your life, no joke.)

Please Don't Hate Me for Hating Him...

Haha, this is so FUNNY. No offense to anyone who is a die-hard Twilight series fan, I love the books but Edward isn't my type. He's too perfect. And Bella is just too much like me: klutzy, can't make up her mind, hears voices (jk, I don't hear voices). But really, I thought I had my life copyrighted! And WHEN will the government start enforcing that law keeping strangers from stalking me and recording my confused daily activities? I SWEAR I sent that restraining order THREE YEARS ago! Stephanie Meyer could be sued by me, because she obviously just copy-pasted most of my life and habits into her books and called her character "Bella". Where's the justice I ask you?

Anyway, here's a list I changed slightly and compiled together of ways to annoy Edward Cullen. Because if someone's that perfect, they deserve SOME antagonizing!

1) Harry Potter begins attending Forks High School, and sees Edward in the hall. (note: the guy who plays Edward in the Twilight movie is the same guy who played Cedric in HP#4.)

Harry: OH MY FREAKING GOSH!!! CEDRIC?!?!?! HOW DID YOU GET ALIVE?

2) Tell Edward you love Jacob more.

3) Tell Edward that Jacob loves him more than you love Jacob.

4) Pass out fliers for an Edward Cullen Fanclub at school. Make sure everyone knows that a huge rivalry is going on between Mike Newton and Jacob Black to become president.

5) Walk around with a "Save the Mountain Lions" t-shirt and make sure you are in constant view of Edward.

6) Send Bella on a cruise around the Mediterranean but tell Edward the Volturi came for her while he was asleep.

7) When he says that's impossible (because he CAN'T sleep) admit she's on a cruise around the Mediterranean. Say he wouldn't have wanted to go because of all the sun.

8) Belatedly mention that it's a private cruise anyway and Jacob went with Bella, so she's protected.

9) Say Mike found out his secret and got Alice to make him a vampire. Now Mike Newton looks better than Edward could ever hope to look.

10) Ask Edward why did he ever fake his own death and move a whole continent away just to be with Bella? In your opinion, Cho was much prettier. (HP reference, b/c Cedric loved Cho, but then he died.)

11) Go around dressed like Voldemort (with a rubber snake named Nagini and everything) and wave a stick or pencil while shouting "AVADA KEDAVRA! Dang it, first that kid with glasses, now I can't even kill a freaking VAMPIRE!" every time you see Edward. (More obvious Hp reference. Yes, yes, I KNOW technically Peter Pettigrew killed Cedric, but it's funnier this way!)

12) Whenever you order a pizza with Edward in the room, emphasize that NO garlic is to be put on the pizza.

13) When you're off the phone, ask Edward if mountain lion substitute would be okay, because the pizza place was all out of the real stuff.

14) When he says he can't eat the pizza anyway, act all offended and start screaming about wasting money and would he LIKE to lose his Volvo because the check bounced for a very expensive custom pizza that he wouldn't even TOUCH?

15) Eventually calm down, and tell him you have a very special surprise for him. Blind-fold him, and force him to sit through the Anorexics Anonymous meeting when you take the blindfold off.

OK, so actually EVERYONE will take offense at this I'm sure, and only the first thing on this list was copy-pasted. Everything else was mine. : ) But oh well. That won't matter soon because people are going to track me down and murder me for being anti-Edward. I just hate that he's perfect, is that so WRONG?

"Ah, What a Tangled Web we Weave...

...when we first practice to decieve." William Shakespeare. Did he really come up with it, or was it someone else working under a pseudonym as a name then a guy with that name came forward and took credit for everything the true author wrote? Okay, that's really NOT the question I meant to ask. I'll try again:

What does that quote mean? Does it mean we are entirely caught up in our own lies from birth? Or is it something beyond us and all we recognize: a system of complicated misinterpretations that existed before time itself, thus inevitably trapping us forever in a world where up could be down, and what's there is now over here? Is it all our fault, or are the cosmic senses of the universe aligned against us so that we can never run from distorting the truth?

I have no answer, only theories. Mine are far too long to read and understand, they are things you have to see for yourself. Unless you're theories are as hopeless as mine, or else you're too caught up in your own web of lies (or the universe's, w/e), please tell me about YOUR thoughts. I'm curious....

If I'm a Band Geek, What are You?

Some of the people who regularly read my blog (and I'm sure NO ONE does, but whatever) I'd like to explain my absence. I am in marching band for my Highschool, and as a frosh (freahman) I have to participate in "Band Camp" (oh gosh, it sounds just as nerdy to type as to think and say, ew) and learn to march, and play our fight song, and be entirely in step with everyone else. So my long 13-hours-a-day/5-days-a-week schedule has kept me just tired enough that I haven't stayed in touch. But I will now become a regular blogger, even if it's just 15 secs of typing while waiting for an email or whatever. Or maybe I'll try posting once a week, because that should be easy to remember.

Which reminds me: Thanks to Avian Fang, who reminded me I was at Band Camp instead of on the computer! Because really, I barely remembered WHAT i'd done last week!

Also, I'd like to give you guys a link to something REALLY cool. If you look at it, tell me what you think!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXDstfD9eJ0

Comments are appreciated, all will be answered!